If you’re the one everyone else relies on
You probably already know what you’re supposed to be doing. Sleep more. Slow down. Eat properly. Ask for help before things get bad, rather than after.
Knowing it has never been the difficult part.
In thirteen years of mental health nursing, the people I’ve sat with were rarely short of information. What they were short of was time, permission, and advice that fitted an actual life — one with shifts, responsibilities, and other people depending on them.
That’s the gap I write into.
Who I am
I’m Thelma Akotoye, a registered mental health nurse. I’ve been practising for thirteen years.
Most of what I know about mental health, I learned from people in the middle of it — not from a textbook. I’ve watched someone’s sleep collapse weeks before their mood did. I’ve seen people wait far too long to ask for help because they didn’t think they were unwell enough to deserve it. I’ve explained the same things often enough to know which explanations actually land and which ones don’t.
That’s what I bring here: not theory, but what a nurse notices.
Why I write
Because the internet is full of health advice, and much of it is confident, tidy, and wrong.
I wanted a space for the other kind — practical, honest, and clear about what we know and what we don’t. Where the answer is sometimes “the evidence is mixed,” because that’s true more often than health content admits.
I don’t have all the answers. Nobody working in this field does. But I can explain things properly, tell you when something is uncertain, and never sell you a solution I wouldn’t suggest to someone I care about.
And underneath it all, one thing I’ve watched people struggle to believe for thirteen years: looking after yourself is not selfish. It’s the thing that makes everything else possible.
Who this is for
Anyone trying to look after themselves while getting on with a demanding life.
But if I’m honest about who I picture when I write, it’s the person who holds everything together for everyone else. The one who notices when a colleague is struggling, remembers the appointments, checks in on everyone — and hasn’t had a proper night’s sleep in months.
Often, though not only, that’s a woman. Frequently she’s a nurse, a carer, a mother, or all three. She’d tell you she’s fine.
If that’s you, this is written for you.
You’re also welcome here if you’re just beginning, if you’re rebuilding after something hard, if you’re trying to be taken seriously by a health system that isn’t listening, or if you simply want to understand your own body and mind a bit better.
What I write about
- Mental and emotional wellbeing — anxiety, stress, low mood, burnout, and the everyday business of staying well when life is demanding
- Sleep, energy and movement — including sleep for shift workers, whose needs most advice ignores completely. Exercise for how you feel and function, never for shrinking.
- Women’s health — cycles, perimenopause, the deficiencies that get missed, and the symptoms that get dismissed
- Understanding your own health — what’s happening in your body, what symptoms generally mean, when something’s worth getting checked
- Navigating healthcare — what actually happens at appointments, how to be taken seriously, and the questions worth asking before you leave the room
- Supporting someone you love — how to help when a partner, parent or friend is struggling, without losing yourself in it
You won’t find weight-loss content here. Not because bodies don’t matter, but because that conversation causes more harm than good, and there’s more than enough of it elsewhere.
What I can’t do
I’m a registered nurse, but I’m not your nurse.
Everything here is general health education. I can’t diagnose you, tell you what your symptoms mean, or advise you on your medication — I don’t know your history, and without it any specific advice would be unsafe.
If you ask me something individual, I’ll answer the general version and point you back to your own clinician. That isn’t me being unhelpful. It’s the boundary that makes everything else I write worth trusting.
Where to start
Have a look around, or start with whichever of these sounds most like your week.
If you’d like to get in touch: thelma@thelmaakotoye.com